Welcome to Night Watch: The Learmning Channel! We've got the most drama, the most intrigue, and above all the most learmning of any channel on TV! That's our promise to our viewers and that's why cable companies keep including us in their basic subscription packages.

Today's programming features many dives into history - but with DRAMA! Okay not so much drama. But Ian apologized for his button mishaps and attempted to make repairs. And we did SCREEEEEAM at 7:18!

Anyway, we learmned about the origins of the 7% Rule (and the dangers of compound interest), discussed the method behind the madness of the Random Dance Party, and reminisced about Road Quest. We also talked a lot about gundams. Arguably too many gundams.

The Garages and Coyote Wall stopped by to perform some of their latest hits for the channel! Their Desert Bus 2022 collaboration album has hit the streets, with proceeds going (as always) directly to Child's Play Charity.

We've all learmned a lot tonight, so we're ready to pass the flag back to Zeta with a current donation total over $180,000 and all the love and respect we always show to our nighttime neighbors. Night Watch out!

That's our bag, baby! And this Night Watch bag could be yours along with its (fraternal) twin, the Alpha Flight bag. These handmade leather Desert Bags measure 24cm x 29cm x 8cm (9" x 11" x 3") which is just the right size to fit a tablet or a notebook and just shy of the right size to fit the second bag inside it like a matryoshka doll. Because they're the exact same size, you see.

Fit them in your life by donating $8.53 or multiples thereof before 11:30pm PT for a chance to win! These really could be your bags, baby.

Oh, Anemone Hug Interactive, you adorable sponsor you! We just want to wrap you up in a big, stinging hug that numbs your limbs so you can't escape. Big hugs forever! Thank you for sponsoring Desert Bus.

Anemone Hug Interactive is a Vancouver, Canada based video game developer that has collaborated with other studios to provide additional development resources such as creative direction, in-engine development, and business analysis. They are currently working on their own, original IP title slated for release in 2024!

Just when you think we're gonna zig, we ZAG! Meet the surprise giveaway: a collection of The Garages merch. In addition to a bunch of cassette tapes of their music, this prize includes stickers, embroidered patches, and a baggie of guitar picks.

This collection got lost in the ether last year, but now it could be yours for a donation of $6.66 (or multiples thereof) before 9:30pm PT.

Have you had the experience of joining an anarcho-syndicalist band inspired by an internet phenomenon and watching it take off and grow into its own self-propelled phenomenon that comes back to visit Desert Bus for Hope three years in a row? If you answered yes: you're probably a member of The Garages!

If you answered no: good news, you can sit back and listen to them play live on Desert Bus for Hope right now! This year they're performing with fellow Four Strike Records performer Coyote Wall. Together, they'll be releasing a joint album for Desert Bus that will be released on November 14 (that's tomorrow!). Proceeds go to Child's Play, and you can get that album now.

Stay tuned after the concert for a special, surprise giveaway! More on that soon.

The year is 1996 and you're a visionary. What you see: a Multiverse Gift Box from Visions, the most anticipated set of 1997, with hard-to-find international cards. Because you're a visionary, you know this box is destined to one day raise money for charity so it must stay factory-sealed and pristine all the way until 2022!

And on that faraway year in 2022, you envision someone (perhaps yourself?) taking this box home in exchange for a donation of $8.40 or multiples thereof. This will occur on the day of November 13 at the hour of 7:40pm PT.

Here on Desert Bus, we love history. Especially our history of gags and references going back to previous runs. That's why we're kicking off two silent auctions that harken back to Night Watch's antics from 2021 - and you have until 2am PT to claim these historic artifacts for yourself!

Handpainted DB Shift-Themed Gunpla

We feel a bit set up for this one, but you know, we don't feel bad about that. Last year, Ian accepted a challenge to assign Gundams to each Desert Bus shift. Now, one year later, crafter Brandon Nguyen provided us with each of those selections, hand painted in their appropriate shift colors. They even come with accessories you can play around with when they land at your home!

Current Bid: $876.54

USS Tucson Cross Stitch Poster

The adventures of the USS Tucson moved and confused us for many a Night Watch during 2021. From blowing up Zeta to losing Ensign Ben for multiple days in a row, this storied starship lives on in the hearts of many. It also lives on in this beautiful cross-stitch recreation donated by SparklesPNW and based on the official diagram created by Desert Bus's own Jen "MangledPixel" Carling. Auction, engage!

Current Bid: $1,111.11

(Psst... you can also get the USS Tucson poster and playmat on the Desert Bus store!)

Ceiling egg... ceiling egg... ceiling egg... ce- oh, sorry, I'm supposed to be summarizing what happened this shift... ceiling egg... ceiling egg...

Here's what else you missed during today's Alpha Flight:

It's back... D+B 2022 kicks off!

Joe made cake! Actually... Joe made two cakes!

Welcome to Snorsh!

All hail ceiling egg!

We check in on those photos from yesterday taken with a multitude of lenses:

And finally, we read the winner and a runner-up from the longest sentence challenge!

Remember, for the latest updates, stay tuned to desertbus.org. You can also catch up on the latest #DB2022 happenings around the web...

• Visit YouTube for the latest video highlights from the Video Strike Team (VST).
• Check out photos from this year at photos.desertbus.org.
• Be our friend on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
• And, of course, the live stream is always available at desertbus.org and twitch.tv/desertbus.

Earlier today in Alpha Flight, we challenged the community to write the longest funny sentence they could come up with. Here's the winning submission, from SoapToaster (she/her):

It has oft been queried­—by delicate youths, still flush with the impertinence of unsullied lexical exuberance, and by sainted grey-hairs, long-practiced in their jovial and comedic communiques, alike­—that the ultimate goal, the deep vein of motivational coal that fired the tight-bound yet animalistically-focused engine (an engine, we acknowledge, more traditionally focused upon the mundane daily goals of the coop, croft and farmyard) of poultific animation, that drove the illustrious-yet-unnamed delegate of Gallus Gallus Domesticus to step so boldly out from its agrarian homeland and into the eternal annals of the common man (and woman, and myriad identities betwixt and between), was merely that fundamental urge shared amongst such dissimilar bedfellows as ferry captains and rubinoid rovers, the pedestrian masses and the great Gulf Stream, that can yet be summed so succinctly as thus: to get to the other side.

Congratulations! Here are a few additional runner-up submissions in no particular order, including some we couldn't get to on-air...

As he waited in a seemingly endless dusk/night cycle at a bus stop — one that seemed rather strangely situated along a near perfectly straight road through a featureless and dusty desert that went on as far as the eye can see — the musician, currently going simply by his initial H rather than his name to avoid unpleasant questions from old fans, adjusted the strap of his guitar case to make it a little more comfortable for the long wait and flipped an odd coin of no monetary value but one which he was told would be accepted as fare by the only other traveller along this route; he looks up instinctively at the first hint of light on the horizon (could it be the dawn?) seeing what turn out to be headlights approaching from a great distance and coming ever closer until at last the bus stopped — a driver with the name badge Jocko looks out at the unusual sight of a waiting passenger on the normally empty road, recognising him with surprise as the one and only Horse — the driver asks "Why the long face?".

by Rebornflames (he/him)

I–and by which I mean, the somewhat unique system of chemical reactions and electrical impulses passing through a localized collection of also somewhat unique and constantly self-replicating cells (though both really only unique in the sense that said reactions, impulses and collection of cells occur in sequences and patterns that could have only been created by circumstance of genetic, educational, experiential, and traumatic factors and stimuli that the system has been subjected to) which altogether produce events that are interpreted by it, and other similar electro-chemical-organic systems, as thoughts, actions, emotions, and most horribly, longing for another system with which to satisfy some of those thoughts, actions, and emotions with–am.

by Call_me_Aras (he/him)

There once was a young Cheesemaker by the name of Charlie Chester with a respectable repute who gained such esteem having worked many weary weeks and merciless months learning the piquant and pleasant proficiency enough to take him to Canterbury's Crown Cheese Contest of the Century where he would go on to win the prime prize with the use of his skills, spark, and his supreme care as a savant, before travelling back, his trophies in tow, to find a fire consuming the place where he lives --now lived-- his house, his home, all gone under the tide of total devouring destruction that such a bonfire begets, compelling him to shut down, unable to handle the harrowing happening, to cease, to stop, staring sorrowfully at the burning, buckling building, only to search the soft and silty ash the next day, searching for something, anything he could reclaim to start his life anew, and as he grasps the one, the only cheesebag that had not been touched by the blistering blaze, he opens it, cries, and screams to the skies:"All that is left is De Brie!"

by Dal (they/them)

I Had No Idea That I Was Going To Be The Protagonist Of A Typical Japanese Light Novel Until I Woke Up In The Morning, Ran Outside With My Toast In My Mouth, Then Choked On It While I Was Hit By A Bus, Then I Woke Up In Another World Where I Was Suddenly The Most Popular Guy Around, Found Myself Saving The Lives Of Beautiful Elven Twins Who Said I Was Part Of An Ancient Prophecy Involving A Huge Temple And A Bunch Of Monsters, Which Suck The Soul Out Of Humans And Turn Them Into Puppets Which Is Really Freaky, But Then I Was Enlisted To Become A General In The Kingdom's Army Because Of My Expertise In Tactics Gacha Games, And Found Myself Leading An Army Of Werewolves Even Though I'm Allergic To Dogs, And Then I Sneezed So Much I Actually Woke Up And Couldn't Go Back To Sleep, So Now I'm Writing All This Down And Selling It To Kadokawa

by Jewelry Jelly (she/her)

Ever wonder how our photographer Kolin gets all those amazing shots? We decided to give you examples of his lens collection!

Below each image is the lens used to capture Erika and Cameron as they stay perfectly* still to recreate the same shot with each lens.

*there were some giggles

1. Fujifilm XF 16-55mm @ 55mm
2. Fujifilm XF16-55mm @ 16mm
3. 7Artisans 7.5mm
4. Fujifilm XF 50-140mm @ 140mm
5. Fujifilm XF 50-140mm @ 50mm
6. 7Artisans 35mm f/1.2
7. Fujifilm XF 23mm f/1.4
8. Fujifilm XF 56mm f/1.2