This final installment of the epic Dengler & Butts series is brought to us by Tim Jablonski:

Dengler didn’t know if it was the pain in his leg or the weight of the mission, but he had cartoon theme songs stuck in his head.  Some part of him wondered if a dubstep versions existed, but there was no time for that.

Backup was largely out of the question.  They weren’t sure how high the corruption went up the chain, and they couldn’t afford to take chances.

Dengler’s tracing knowledge had led them to the bulk of the remaining terrorist forces, including the leader.  Actually, he may not have been the leader, but Butts and Dengler had yet to see a terrorist henchmen that wore both an eyepatch and a monocle.  He was definitely the priority in all of this.  It was like the roots of a plant or the head on a zombie, get rid of him and the rest would wither away.

Unfortunately, this man had dozens of armed guards, something plants or zombies never had (plants have been known to arm themselves on rare occasions, but this is the exception that proves the rule).

Dengler and Butts crouched behind a dumpster, just outside of view.

“Any more bright ideas, Rookie.”

Dengler shook his head.  “I don’t see how we can get close enough to take him out.  We’ll be spotted the second we move.”

Butts nodded.  “We need some kind of diversion.”

The two pondered their predicament.  This would be a tougher than a mile long QWOP.  It would normally take 20 men to run this operation.  They weren’t twenty men, but they were two Steves, and that would have to be enough…

 

Tigre had taken a moment to wipe off his monocle when the commotion broke out.  He placed it back in to see a strange person flailing his limbs to and fro as he meandered down the street.  His men were moving in to question the man, who Tigre noticed was not wearing a shirt.  However his men were smacked relentlessly by the stranger’s flailing limbs.  Eventually, the man was taken into custody after he attempted to climb the stairs and fell.  Rather than pick himself up, he simply continued to flail on the stars.  Eight of his men finally managed to restrain him.

Tigre approached the man, raising an eyebrow.  “You really shouldn’t be here.  What, pray tell, are you trying to pull?”

The man stopped flailing for and looked straight into Tigre’s eye(s?):

“I was going to the store.”

Tigre didn’t have time to even brace himself, as Butts crashed into his side, tackling him to the ground.  Dengler broke free from the men that had been holding him and moved to take Tigre’s weapon, pointing it to the mans head.

The remainder of the terrorist forces simply stood in stunned silence, not quite sure if what they saw was actually occurring.  One by one, weapons were laid down and hands went up in the air.

 

1 MONTH LATER

“You’re sure about this?”  Butts had never been one for flying.

“Don’t worry!”  Dengler called from the cockpit.  I’ve practiced this literally ones of times!”

“I’m taking a vacation after this!”  Butts jumped out of the plane.

But Butts will never take a vacation, for crime never sleeps, and neither do…

 

DENGLER AND BUTTS:  CRIME-FIGHTERS EXTRAORDINAIRE