We’ve got a ridiculously amazing auction happening at 11pm during our call in with the Bad Astronomer himself, Phil Plait. You guys are going to want to tune in for this crazy space themed lot.

We’ve got a signed copy of Phil’s Book “Death from the Skies!”, A TARDIS USB hub, a Scirens wristband and a bunch of other amazing things. Not in the picture you are also going to get your own pair of Eclipse glasses!!!! Stare at the sun all you want (please don’t actually).

Oh….and one more thing.

A FREAKING METEORITE!!!!! That’s right, you can have an actual meteorite that fell in Russia in 1947! GET IN ON THIS EVERYONE!!!!!

 

UPDATE: PHIL IS THROWING IN MORE GLASSES, THAT YOU CAN LOOK AT LAZERS WITH!!!! LAZERS!

We’re starting Jer’s shift off with a bang, or rather a series of bangs as we roll the die on this donation drive.  

This giant Wooden D20 is a full 7 inches in diameter (~18 cm) and is donated to us by Wes Flanagan and can be yours to win for only $7.09 or multiples thereof until 10:45 AM PST!!!!

Jeremy Petter

Driving: Saturday, Nov 15 10am – 10pm

We have concluded our Ogre Prize Pack giveaway with a staggering $3609.90 raised by the donation drive! The winner was Miracleknight, congratulations!

I feel though that we must have a brief moment of silence…for any chance of a positive point/crash ratio. In the duration of the donation drive we had, THREE CRASHES.

This is the moment Beej decided to go mad with power…wish us luck everyone!

 Phil Plait will be calling into Desert Bus at 11am PST on Saturday, November 15th.

Phil Plait, PhD, is an American astronomer and the mind behind the science blog Bad Astronomy. While the blog has an astronomy focus, Phil also writes about skepticism, pseudoscience, and antiscience topics. This blog was hosted by Discover Magazine, near the end of 2012 it changed hosts to Slate Magazine.

He is the author of, “Bad Astronomy: Misconceptions and Misuses Revealed, from Astrology to the Moon Landing “Hoax”“, which covers debunking astronomy-related urban legends, and “Death from the Skies!: These are the Ways the World Will End“, describing ways astronomical events could wipe out all life on Earth.

It was announced in early November that Phil is set to become a host for a new astronomy series on the Crash Course Youtube channel. This series will also be distributed through PBS’s Youtube network and into classrooms through PBS LearningMedia.

There’s also an asteroid named after him.

Have a question for Phil? Leave them in the comments below! 

As we move into the more reasonable hours of the morning it seemed time to get the donations flowing! We’ve got a donation drive for you that is larger than life!

This amazing tactical combat game comes not only with a copy of the Ogre board game SIGNED BY STEVE JACKSON, but also an Ogre T-Shirt, tote bag, and two Ogre Pins. How do you get your entry in for this you ask? Donate $13.37 or multiples thereof in the next 47 minutes (until 9:15 AM PST)!!!

We asked the impossible, we wanted poetry so good that Beej would have no choice but to like it. Boy did you guys deliver! Our winner was Magicpokey with his modern classic, “Going Left (The Road)”

Left.

The Road Doesn’t Judge You.

Left.

The Road Doesn’t Need You.

Left.

The Road Doesn’t Hurt You.

Left.

The Road Just Carries You.

Left.

Takes Your Abuse.

Left.

Absorbs Your Curses.

Left.

Without Complaint.

Left.

The Road Just Loves You.

Left.

As long As You Stay:

Left.

We had more than 50 (!) entries for this contest! The short list is assembled below the break:

By Laurel Morrison:

A Sonnet of Twerk

 

Would that I could dance across the floor

In sultry tango or in lilting waltz

Whirling, twirling, my starv-ed soul exalts

Partner in arms, lost forever more

 

Gone are the days of foxtrot and mambo

Our steps were filled with grace, the music sweet

We swept across the room on airy feet

Oh Beej, do tell, where did those days now go?

 

Thanks to Beyonce, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj

Today’s new dance – the Twerk – is “where it’s at”

Obsessed with ladies’ rears and decolletage

This hellish new craze that Miley Cyrus begat

 

But who are we to judge a move so bold?

When did our poor limbs become too old?

By: CWhiteMaster99

Beej is Red!

Beej is Blue!

Beej Splats the Bus,

And Crashes it Too!

 

A failed Ode to Twerk.

by Oakinwode

 

There was man by Beej of name.

Who needed something for fame.

And so he did twerk.

And twerk….and twerk?

(Nothing rhymes with twerk which is lame.)

 

David Kettle:

There was a twerker named beej

Who said poetry made him grieve

While driving a bus

He made quite a fuss

So now we’re all sending him these

 

Michael Saunders:

“A poem for Beej

For he is my liege

The gif of his twerk

Inspired this work”

 

Balleluia:

The Bones Left Behind: The Story of the Desert Bus Skulls

 

Inside, you are a scaffolding of calcium-white

like the skeleton your teacher rolled in for class

and said lived inside of you every day.

It smiled and smiled, and even then it seemed

more like death than like life to you.

 

You forgot about craggy carpals, their names

as foreign as their shapes, until you slipped

and broke your wrist. You couldn’t name

the big bone that jutted out at a painful angle,

white as the recently bleached tiles now darkening.

 

The doctor showed you them on the x-ray.

It was the ulna, but you asked about others,

repeated them: scaphoid, trapezium, capitate.

You imagined there was a circus in there, with a little

trapeze artist swinging between the bones.

 

Now, back in the antiseptic white

of a hospital, you asked me to dig you up,

when you were dead, and take those tiny bones

for my own. Why, I asked, and you told me

to place them in a bag and roll them like dice.

 

You said you always wanted to do that.

You smiled, and I cried.

 

By: Therberus

There once was a man named Beej,

Who was constantly beeing beseiged

They’d run up to his castle, to give him an *ass*-full

But the twerk would leave them appeased !

 

By: Impsylove

Beej needed a lot of booze,

For poetry just made him snooze.

But then one day,

DesertBus chat came his way…

 

He said it was great (but it was all just a ruse).

 

By: notmichaeljfox

There was a young woman named Heather,

who found her bird of a feather

In a young man named Dery

Who thought she was very

Foxy in all kinds of weather.

 

 

 

Like sands through the hourglass, this is the Zeta Shift of our lives.

Beej’s very first driving shift was AMAZING. We auctioned off a beautiful quilt:

 

We did enough donation drives and giveaways that I officially lost count. Beej issued the Super Princess Beej Art Challenge, the hilarious results of which can be found HERE. The winner was Michelle!

We also got a glimpse of what happens when Beej just Beejes out:

 

We did a ton of dancing…

 

 

 

…and ended on an EPIC poetry contest whose submissions covered 28 PAGES. Whale dong, guys!

 

For the next 30 minutes, put on your poetry caps! Beej hates poetry, so make him like it by writing him a limerick, a haiku, an e.e. cummings style typographical masterpiece, or whatever else strikes your fancy. What will you win if you convince him? Why, just his Lenticular Gif! Beej’s gif is, of course, his classic ‘Beej Has Twerk In the Morning’; if you want to own this in physical form for the rest of your days, get to poetry and send your submissions to contests@desertbus.org!

There’s just half an hour left to donate for these fabulous items:

Neil Gaiman Hand Puppets

These little guys are so cute and full of whimsey that you’ll never want to tell a story without them again.

 

Windborne Card Set and Poster

A gorgeous set of signed cards and poster by artist John Thacker.

Cyber Force Promo Posters

Cyber Force was the comic which launched Image and Top Crow Comics, which is pretty important. Get these gorgeous promo posters from artists Marc Silvestri and Matt Hawkins!