Earlier today in Alpha Flight, we challenged the community to write the longest funny sentence they could come up with. Here's the winning submission, from SoapToaster (she/her):

It has oft been queried­—by delicate youths, still flush with the impertinence of unsullied lexical exuberance, and by sainted grey-hairs, long-practiced in their jovial and comedic communiques, alike­—that the ultimate goal, the deep vein of motivational coal that fired the tight-bound yet animalistically-focused engine (an engine, we acknowledge, more traditionally focused upon the mundane daily goals of the coop, croft and farmyard) of poultific animation, that drove the illustrious-yet-unnamed delegate of Gallus Gallus Domesticus to step so boldly out from its agrarian homeland and into the eternal annals of the common man (and woman, and myriad identities betwixt and between), was merely that fundamental urge shared amongst such dissimilar bedfellows as ferry captains and rubinoid rovers, the pedestrian masses and the great Gulf Stream, that can yet be summed so succinctly as thus: to get to the other side.

Congratulations! Here are a few additional runner-up submissions in no particular order, including some we couldn't get to on-air...

As he waited in a seemingly endless dusk/night cycle at a bus stop — one that seemed rather strangely situated along a near perfectly straight road through a featureless and dusty desert that went on as far as the eye can see — the musician, currently going simply by his initial H rather than his name to avoid unpleasant questions from old fans, adjusted the strap of his guitar case to make it a little more comfortable for the long wait and flipped an odd coin of no monetary value but one which he was told would be accepted as fare by the only other traveller along this route; he looks up instinctively at the first hint of light on the horizon (could it be the dawn?) seeing what turn out to be headlights approaching from a great distance and coming ever closer until at last the bus stopped — a driver with the name badge Jocko looks out at the unusual sight of a waiting passenger on the normally empty road, recognising him with surprise as the one and only Horse — the driver asks "Why the long face?".

by Rebornflames (he/him)

I–and by which I mean, the somewhat unique system of chemical reactions and electrical impulses passing through a localized collection of also somewhat unique and constantly self-replicating cells (though both really only unique in the sense that said reactions, impulses and collection of cells occur in sequences and patterns that could have only been created by circumstance of genetic, educational, experiential, and traumatic factors and stimuli that the system has been subjected to) which altogether produce events that are interpreted by it, and other similar electro-chemical-organic systems, as thoughts, actions, emotions, and most horribly, longing for another system with which to satisfy some of those thoughts, actions, and emotions with–am.

by Call_me_Aras (he/him)

There once was a young Cheesemaker by the name of Charlie Chester with a respectable repute who gained such esteem having worked many weary weeks and merciless months learning the piquant and pleasant proficiency enough to take him to Canterbury's Crown Cheese Contest of the Century where he would go on to win the prime prize with the use of his skills, spark, and his supreme care as a savant, before travelling back, his trophies in tow, to find a fire consuming the place where he lives --now lived-- his house, his home, all gone under the tide of total devouring destruction that such a bonfire begets, compelling him to shut down, unable to handle the harrowing happening, to cease, to stop, staring sorrowfully at the burning, buckling building, only to search the soft and silty ash the next day, searching for something, anything he could reclaim to start his life anew, and as he grasps the one, the only cheesebag that had not been touched by the blistering blaze, he opens it, cries, and screams to the skies:"All that is left is De Brie!"

by Dal (they/them)

I Had No Idea That I Was Going To Be The Protagonist Of A Typical Japanese Light Novel Until I Woke Up In The Morning, Ran Outside With My Toast In My Mouth, Then Choked On It While I Was Hit By A Bus, Then I Woke Up In Another World Where I Was Suddenly The Most Popular Guy Around, Found Myself Saving The Lives Of Beautiful Elven Twins Who Said I Was Part Of An Ancient Prophecy Involving A Huge Temple And A Bunch Of Monsters, Which Suck The Soul Out Of Humans And Turn Them Into Puppets Which Is Really Freaky, But Then I Was Enlisted To Become A General In The Kingdom's Army Because Of My Expertise In Tactics Gacha Games, And Found Myself Leading An Army Of Werewolves Even Though I'm Allergic To Dogs, And Then I Sneezed So Much I Actually Woke Up And Couldn't Go Back To Sleep, So Now I'm Writing All This Down And Selling It To Kadokawa

by Jewelry Jelly (she/her)