Here’s the text of Cameron’s absolutely hysterical MSDS, which he wrote thanks to a challenge from one of our viewers. If you missed seeing it live, read it here!

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Product Name: Desert Bus

HAZARDS IDENTIFICATION

Target Organs: Central Nervous System, Kidneys, Liver, Heart.

Hazard / Precautionary: Acute toxicity, contact.
Contains gas under pressure.
Avoid release to the environment
Protect from sunlight. Store in a well-ventilated place.

Health Effects

Inhalation: Irritant
Skin: Causes severe burns
Eyes: Irritant, lachrymator
Ingestion: Toxic if ingested
FIRST AID MEASURES

General Advice
Consult a physician. Show this safety sheet to the physician. The physician will understand. The physician is just going to give you a little shot now. It’s okay. Shh. Shh. You did a good job. We all love you very much.

If inhaled
If breathed in, move person into fresh air. Huffing Desert Bus is not recommended. You probably have brain damage now which limits the utility of this printed safety document. See “General Advice”.

In case of skin contact
You have now touched Desert Bus. This is inappropriate. Desert Bus is supposed to have a strict no touching policy. Where’s Ash? ASH? ASH!? HELP

In case of eye contact
This is the optimal mechanism for ingesting Desert Bus. Irritiation is normal. Tears are normal. Why don’t you just sit down and cry? Everyone does it. I’m sure that will help. I’m sure crying will make it better.

If swallowed
OH GOD IT HURTS MY ARM HE BIT MY ARM THERE’S A PIECE MISSING OH GOD OH GOD DID HE SWALLOW IT GET IT BACK I WANT IT BACK I WANT IT BACK MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK INDUCE VOMITING INDUCE VOMITING MY AAAAAARM

PERSONAL PROTECTIVE EQUIPMENT

Respiratory protection
You can’t smell it anymore. It’s already inside you.

Hand protection
It’s too late. It feels warm. You feel warm.

Eye protection
You can’t look away. The bus is all you see.

Skin and body protection
there is only bus